How To Avoid an Awkward Costume

Dialog:

• Port:
  • In what sort of job is one least likely to have to wear a silly costume?
  • Sometimes I wake up yelling about silly hats and chicken suits being forced upon me.
  • I bet you could be reasonably confident of avoiding costumes if it is hard to officially force you to do something.
  • It is also a good sign if you are expected to be dignified.
  • {pause}
  • Perhaps all I need to rid my life of funny hats and strangely shaped ties is official independence and public dignity.
• Starboard:
  • The wardrobes of English judges beg to differ.